the time the blood started to come out.....
i had just that to think....what is it ?

to me i dnt knw.....
can i survive without her ?
or
facing the reality that she doesnt love me ....is too much ?

i m weakened.....i feel everyday nothing can happen without affecting me......

i feel like someone washed my mind......the day she said it wont happen ever.....

and now i am so much into myself searching for every bit of memory related to her...
leave that i dnt remember my life for a period of 2 yrs back....

i dnt know ...what to do.....the only thing i knw that i love her.....
i clearly remember what happened one day before and all that what happened after her birthday

neither the wishes, feelings .....etc are of any help to me......how was my life with her
the days, the months and years.....they are all washed away......
just i have a name in my heart.....her name....

the bad part of me......knows everything...he wont let me know anything........
because he doesnt want to end itself .....

my memory accumulates a very low space of time......
and the feelings creating a large assumptions of situations.......

i try being calm ....all i remember the words spoken by her......
nothing abt the world.....it feels so just involved in her..........

i remember everything she tells me.....

mind always think abt her...y ?

i just dnt know ....what happened that turned her so much against her.....
my brain collapses everytime i try to dig into this matter.....and it frustrates me
when i m at the end left with nothing.....

she always asks what do u want ?.....
i dnt knw what to answer....coz she only believes i want committment
but instead i believe i just wanna hear only the three magical words from her....
i hope she had understood the words of my silence.....
but she way too much involved in ignoring everything........

the thing that may have stopped me in this world...cud be nothing else but waiting for the
day ...she ll say those words under no terms and conditions.......

imagining that day......gives me a way out of this world...