BEING SIMPLE .....IS A CURSE

Something somewhere is wrong with me......
i am too used to being out with open wounds.
people tend to see it and just have an impression of my being.
Good or bad, depends on the views they try to have with
evaluating the impressions.

Its been two years, i don't find anything good in being something i used to be .

I don't wanna get hurt.....its never my intention 
BUT
its just that it finds me....taking on my weaknesses .

I don't like to complicate things .......i am just too straightforward....
i don't like to be
too much involved into anything....

i just don't know how 
every person's judgement on me hurts me.......
People have just started
to back-out......leaving behind a reason for me to think on

"dude , you are no good now"......be it anybody.
the words may just stand alone but they all mean the same..........

i am not good for company for anyone.......
i just start up with something and start to share
my story , unaware of the interest of the other person....

its just that the wounds , have started bleeding ....with the blood staining the hands
who ever tries to be with me ....

i end up hurting them all...........and i could be of help no more ....so i try to be in
shadow of being unavailable......

i have nothing to do.......i just try pass my time , being with her the only way i can less
affect her....

i cry my eyes out .....every-time i hurt her.......its just the reaction to pain her actions
impound on the wounds.......

i just try to be a simple guy, unattractive ....to any being out there...........
people have told me , they think i do it for getting noticed ......but they are mistaken
no one does this to be noticed ......i just don't feel like living good.....

its something in me ....i try to do....even at the end of so much bad , i offer some good
to make the world realize , i definitely deserve some of my own space to breathe..

i try to solve people's problems...... i don't do it to attract you , i don't do it as a favor
i do it to make the evil residing in me .....realize how bad he makes me feel about the
world , about me ......i wont turn evil at all.....i ll keep the innocent one in me alive
till the end.......

but to this is a problem....
people don't get it , they think i can be used....for their
purpose.....
they just want to solve their purpose and just leave......and return when in need again
they just try to show how much i mean to them.....wont leave me unless i fulfill their
purpose.....be it the evil way to which i resist.

surely ......life is complicated for me.....be it love or anything....

i don't want her to go......
i don't want her to be near and get hurt.
and the declining hope of change in me each day......
adding to difficulties that don't let me
breathe .......

i don't trust myself.......
i have let everything go .....
and now i fear of being alone.

ITS TOO LATE TO BE RESPONSIBLE.......