"Life worth no more than a call "

today i nearly gave up on living 
even a minute more.........
i wanted to give way to a new world 
to greet me.....

but somehow .....something held me up from taking that step.......
tried once......
tried twice....
really unable to  do it.....

i wished i had gone....
because knowing my situation and condition .......she just said "
you promise me .....you wont do anything stupid.....and then just before taking the step
when i tried to call her.......her phone was busy.....

so at the end , i realized the girl i was giving my life for
the girl who meant the world to me.
.....never valued it more than a
call from him......

its really hard to believe , a phone call from him....could mean so much to her


dammed 
....i felt like i was dagged everytime i tried to call her 
and it went on waiting

feelings died ......life paced out......everything dried up
it felt as if i experienced death without dying......
really all this made life a difficult to bear even a little more....

i curse the day i met her on fb.......and  when it all started....

she really doesn't love me.....
its really hard for me to believe that.....
because it used to be her 
saying......the days i spent without you , only i know how hard they were on me.....

now she behaves as if i never existed in her life......

never ever realized my true love wont get accepted......

the only ones who could stop me...... 
my parents......
they did came in time.....
both the times to stop it.....

my parents asked me to swear on them ......
i wont do anything like this ever...
i dnt knw what do they wish to save with their looser son.

i wont be the same .....like i used to be.....
i never expected something like this wud happen.......

but it did.......
something saved me from dying.
and maybe it was a BAD news for her....as she must have expected me to
have ended my life by then.......

maybe its what i ll have to live upon ....and be the part of it......

let the day come ......when my day ends.....