Everything is moving on.....with irresistible pain
either caused by the curse
or by her absence....

I am by myself trying to go through all the pain at once..
She left me at the point i needed her the most ,
for living a life full of happiness which was getting affected by my presence

With every step i take ....its all blood down the path ..that leads to a place of final judgement

The place ..where the fate would get decided...the path were no one can support , no one can do anything
I did all what i could do....gave up everything in love

Her proposal to just be friends ...and not more ....
Seemed as if she was hiding the words behind those lines ...which meant i can only give you this to sympathize with your
condition...
"You have all other important people in your life .....you could atleast try for them ..to live"
as if i treated her a total stranger to my situations.....or my situations were just not right to be in for her...

She didn't wanted to be in a world ....where everything was just feelings....
She calls herself modest and me an emotional or invade deep in her thoughts , then an emotional fool

I am transforming from the human she loved or played with ...into a human who gives a damn about her....
Into an animal she used to fear ...when she met ...

The fear of the curse goes on....and i still remember the day....the curse's arrival marked my doors.....

I was with her ...trying to make her realize ...my love for her and to make her trust me more .....
Suddenly the situations started to change ...for unusual to happen..
blood started to tear the flesh in me....and moved out...
i realized the time was not right for her to see all this......

She asked me the reason....and i told her everything...
even if i was told to keep all that to myself...

She feared her life....and ran to save her from the oncoming of curse and its effects.
With me , shouting aloud to let her know..."her safety was my concern too"
Wished she had trusted me more on this...all i wanted was the support.....the care that may have healed the wounds.....
so that it pained less than wounds carved on wounds.....

her promises ...her support all seemed just a lie
with the thing ..that let me open up to her ...about the curse being
" Its not your reactions , that's hurting me.....but its the way you are nowdays"
I am ready to bear it all, if it could help you get back to normal...!!!!

My pain was ....not at all ..important to her..and she ran....
After some time ....she did return..
but it was too late , in her absence ...i had just asked the end for me.....
my ego, my anguish , her words ....all burnt to form a circle ....to let nothing enter in......

Her return was nothing but a gesture for she felt bad on leaving me alone...
Still she was in fear.....in all.....
And all i did was smile....and asked her to leave...
as in that way ..she was only insulting my feelings i had for her...
and not being thankful....for what i meant to her in her life........
or just not being true....about why she had to always hide the truth from me....

When she already felt something for him....
then why not clearly ....say that she already felt for someone....
instead of ....i dont wanna be in relationship...or anything else.....

I wish i hadn't tried knowing the reasons behind her dis-approvals....instead should have heard her saying all that...
Atleast ..what all i had known.....
may not have caused me ...to never trust anyone..

I chain myself .....to let this fear not hurt anyone.....
i tightly chained myself ...so that even a little movement cause the wounds to pain....

But still ...i was not able to forget her....with everytime i tried....something or the other reminded me of her.....

I am bounded......i can't be with her, neither can force her to be with me.......