"Feelings ....Feelings....Feelings"......
i murmur as i go through the bits of papers i have
they all have something very important to say to me........
maybe the reason behind my destiny , maybe i deserve to be knowing the truth......
if she expects that i would get hurt.....then she should be knowing that i went through hell bad
, so it wont matter...
"all i gave her were tears in the name of love , and i expected it would bear happiness....."
all i could see was my motive to fulfill , her understanding was hardly mentioned.....
she rightly said in the end......"it was only me....not us".
maybe i took her for granted to say anything to her.....even if the words were not right
for the occasion.....i made her go through hell.......even at the times that were important
to her......
when now i reached her limits , and she calls everything off.....i blame her to have changed
i gather my strength to look back into my past , to look for the mistakes i had done.....
i closed my eyes....
i felt someone held my arm.....it was her...to my surprise....
she came to accompany me .....right when i needed it the most..........
she said .."you remember the way you used to count our in commons and ignore what we didn't
had in common ".......i thought you were mad or something.."
it hurled me when she said that , but i smiled because at-least she remembered that.....
you remember the chase you made to meet me....the day i came with my friends.....
and we were not able to meet.....she said.
i smiled as i said..."really felt bad....that i just missed seeing you by minutes....
:(.
then i took the chance to remind her of the trip she made to her natives for the first time
when i was there.........the tips and suggestions covering my fears i gave you.....
and the terrible time i spent in you absence......your replies didn't came......on time
and i really waited for that time to quickly pass......
it started to rain.....then
i moved my hand to feel the rain drops....as i moved to share with her.....
i saw her eyes shedding tears.....
its not the rain , its the tears you gave me as gift for my every will......they make u feel
so happy about it.......she said...
it was you , who used to get angry on small things , blame me......and made me cry for all
night and you slept ...easily without any concern.....
and the next day you behaved as if nothing happened.......i spent the night before crying
and forgive you the next day.....thinking that you must have realized.....
but your repeats of this......certainly....turned me against you.....
you didn't realized you rewarded me tears for whatever i did and whatever i didn't.......
but your expectations were to high for me to fulfill......
i tried to make you understand but you never gave me a chance.....
all i was left was to cry......
now, it seriously doesn't matter to me....whatever you do.....because you lost even what you had...
its all for what you did......
my eyes cries my soul out of it......all i wanted was a chance to not survive.....that
minute....she told me......all that.
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