I AM DYING WITHOUT U EACH DAY......

she is happy.......i can see her
when i go online......nothing urges her to  be with me again.
or even acknowledge my efforts....

she feels like free again....after the consolidations of my threats that bounded her.....
were set free by me.....

its fate and i was unlucky to have lost my world to it.....
i could barely see any one beside me ....without being asked to......

everyone scares the curse i carry ....that it doesn't get blessed upon them by chance
i cant blame them....
i never expected them to run miles with me...
care for me when i was heartbroken........
understand me......when everyone failed to.......

everyone fails to understand the pain at heart i feel everyday.....
they could only make fun of what showed up as a matter of fact to them....
which they gulped out the portion , they could understand or could make fun of later....

i have nothing by side......
when i try to tear the skin of the cuts ....dried up...

i cant take this anymore.......
your threats to end yourself....,
your attempts to take over my life...,
your over expressiveness......

your assumption of everything to be love.......

when each of the word makes me realize .......this couldn't be her words....
someone just made up some story to her about me..
or its the outcome of someones activity that turned me negative...

my outcome of the story....changed rapidly

i lure myself into believing ....she would come back....
she wont go.....
as she told me ......she would be there when i needed her.....

but the series of fear accumulates around this thought....
maybe she didn't included the clause to be there when needed ...if she was ready to go

why would she come back again ?....
for getting forced again....?.....


silence....is all that i have in answer to that.....
all i could do .....was cry
maybe i was not meant to be someone's ....
maybe she would come back to me....