my strive continues.......the fire in me ignites ........this time to burn me up
into ashes........

" I DNT WANNA LIVE ANYMORE"

coz the death cud only provide me the peace i require..........

its been months .....i am unable to talk to her the way i used to.......
every happiness left to leave the space to be acquired by arguments.........

my life has just become a few lines summary.....

i dnt feel like talking to u.....

i have my exams and i need to study......

and some more.......

all meaning the same ........"my existence no longer holds any importance in her life.."

i feel like ending the life of no importance ......the skin full of cuts ......one for
each time .....my world breaks apart........

it becomes difficult to survive among people......all by ur own solitude with the gestures
of hatred coming from every end of the world........

to talk to her feels like a wish come true these days .....coz either she is busy or
the phone is busy......and at times the reply comes .....a condition adds on to it...
"i need to study ......have exams....".

she wishes to know everything ......but fails to understand the meaning of everything.
it comes with the talks that may hurt too........

either u can be with someone or can be true to someone..........

she says i overexpress ......actually it is that in order to be true to her .....i speak
up everything that may include things that may hurt her.........

people like me have no respect ......they dnt deserve anything........
wishing for something , someone.....love etc is all against our existence.......

every other person has the right to take us as a joke .....and when we try to make some
space for ourselves ......we r accused of interfering .....

love .....when a part of one of us .......is like the joke that happened to that person's
love

everyone survives ......i loose whatever i had ......in being something i can never be..
when u deserve and u r not there ......it leaves me with no reason to live and the
affection stops me from dying .......

i feel liked held by death and affection from sides......the day one of them drops
the decision will be made.........