the world gets out of my reach everyday........
with the every minute .....passing by......i m giving up......

hey.....i open my eyes hearing her sweet voice.....to see her standing in front of me...
i m glad to see her.......as always ......making me feel alive.....

she walks to me ......and ask me .....what happened ?.
at that time i cudnt realize anything ......just felt like lost in her somewhere ..
in the feeling of the care .....she showed upon me ......

we talked ......of everything .......the things she wanted to complete.....
how everything was........

i sensed something weird , i dnt knw ......she cud read that from my face ......but i didnt
knew .....what was it ........

but i resisted it to be happy with her......

we were in the centre of the road...and it had been so much time since we have been
standing there ......there was no passerby......

i tried to concentrate on what she was saying ....but i used to lose focus from her ...
to my sense which predicted a disaster to happen........

something unusual .......abt everything .......the road , the surroundings .....etc...

my fear grew .....and made me uncomfortable .........

i just cudnt resist.......

u dnt want to talk .....when i have time for u to talk....her voice cud be heard .......
as i tried to fight with the fear of whats going to happen ......

i fell on the ground .....i grew uncomfortable .....
i really cudnt focus on anything when the topic changed from being me to him......
she kept on asking me abt my problems ......as i knew nothing of the circumstances ..
it bugged me to say ......u dnt have time for me ........
u dnt reply ......ur phone is always ......if it happens to be not ......u talk rudely
i too have a limit to resist ......
.....
then y dnt u go away ?.....if i hurt u so much .....she added
y u waste ur time on me ?

coz i love u.....it may seem to u that i m wasting my time .......but i m trying to give
u some time .....even if u dnt ask me for it .........

i knw there are so many people in ur life that are important to you more than me.....
without someone being ur special someone .......but i wonder wud it be easy for u to forget
me .....if i go away......
i have seen how u tried to cope up without me .......my stupid mistakes did a lot damage
to u ......
i can never forget that .....and i promised myself ....i wont leave u whatever happens
even if u ignore me .....coz i knw the pain my decisions cause u ,are much more than
what u cud do ....by hurting me or disrespecting .......

she seemed unmoved .....she felt i lied all that.....but she beleieved when i lied
but now she never believes me when i say it from the heart......
i lack the sense of logic....coz thinking is never involved in it .....it comes straight
from the heart......
she fails to understand ....the meaning behind the words........then she certainly
asks me to explain her everything ....

i sat down as i felt weak to tell her all this ......while she stood and listen...
she moved to me .....and said
i shudnt have talked to u that way........but i dnt knw what happened to me ....
i cant trust u anymore......

just to assure her .......that i did when she just opted to move out of my life,
the scar on my arm....the scar that i tried to hide from people ...never let them
pay attention to it ...if anyone asked made up some story at that moment to make her
believe its normal......
i never let anyone be close to me .....to be aware of it ....
just because i never wanted anyone to blame her for this .....never wanted to be a
problem in her life .....coz i knew what i meant to her and i didnt wanted to be break her
trust......
i dnt knw what made her think of me ......when i once told her ....a question one of my
friend asked ...after i met her in the presence of him.....
when did she said yes ?

i just spend some time in silence .....as the words stopped coming out ........
i thought abt the meaning of the question ...what it meant to me ......rather than
what to answer ......coz the answer was ...negative coz she never said yes......
coz she abstained from being too much involved with me ....just caring she may not
hurt me one day ...coz we both knew she would leave one day.......but my feelings
left it on future to decide .....

she told me the reasons she had ....that kept her ....and i respected them.....
but we promised to stay in touch with each other ...even if we were apart.....

she felt bad when i kept phone on speaker sometime .....just to let people having doubt
to just free their minds of those non-existence thoughts.......

i never tried to own u .....i just tried to win over ur heart ......
u always pushed me back saying .....u dnt want it , u dnt need it .......

i was just doing something for my love ....just to be in ur eyes for the while that remains
(i wished forever .....but it died out )......

i cud see tears down my eyes ......i was angry on myself for doing all this ....first
doing it , that hurted her and now hurting her speaking of that past........

she kneeled down and wiped the tears flowing down my eyes with her fingers .......
trying to say something ......but the words wont come out ........
i really felt she realized how i felt and what was the truth behind my actions ......
that may have unknowingly hurted her ....

she raised me up ....and tried to make me feel happy......assuring her presence in my life

she took out her handkerchief from the pocket ......and i noticed a piece of paper that
got out of the pocket with the handkerchief and the air took it away....
i thought the paper would be important for her .....and i ran out to catch it ......

it took me a little away from her ....to grab it ....
i opened to see what my efforts worth for .......
to my surprise .......

it was blank .......then suddenly some words started to show up.......
i m sorry .....i had to do it .......
i look back at her .....and she continued crying ....she made me feel ....she did
something wrong .....

i ran towards her ......and banged into something ......
i fell on the ground .....
i raised my arm to feel ....and touched an invisible boundary of solid .....that didnt
let me pass through .......

i never expected she would punish me in this way.......