From a distance i see u , taking my life away from u.

From a distance i see u , taking my life away from u.
a fear kills me like a dagger tearing heart from any angle, as if trying to release something
valuable from within......
i see u moving away ....and i cant bear it .

i hurriedly go through all my life to look for a moment, wish , or a feeling .....anything that
could stop her from going.

i go through my life .......but felt havoc to have found nothing at that moment that i cud tell
her to believe her stay was important in my life.

no-one seemed to have known me better than her.....but is it what the reason she wants to go
because i don't interest her anymore...

i still lay there in the papers which cover my life within .......trying to find a reason
to die and a reason to let her go.

the memories take me back to the time when she first talked her heart out to me ....
she used to message me even when she was with her friends....
the moment dates back to the time i confessed my true feelings for her but never expected
a spontaneous answer , i was in no hurry in knowing her feelings....but maybe in a hurry to
express mine.
she was with her friend who was heartbroken because her girlfriend just left him....she tried to console him
just when i happened to message her...her replies came involving me in the situation with her.
we never got to know when the topic turned about from being him to us(we two)

she said she hated love and relationships, all because of this; the heartbreaks , the cries,
the beliefs and sighs ......which grew more n more in her surroundings grew her hatred more n
more for love .

if we love someone so much, its hard to leave him or her. but one sided lovers don't have an
option other than accepting what they get.
they always get to hear , it was only u who did , i didn't .
all your feelings mean nothing for me ........

her decisions now, her feelings against me ...n my love . and her wish to throw me out of her
life all is enough to kill me each time she says this .....
it feels so lifeless ....so unburned ....feels like the body is full of ashes from within.
still looks the same from outside....only the carrier knows whats inside


it feels like something moves within me with her decisions of going out ....something as
peculiar as a venom......causing deep pain wherever it stops.....i m unable to feel my heartbeat
and i feel like cutting my flesh out to let that venom out of my body

but it doesn't matter how many cuts i draw on my body ....it never gets out and stays within
killing me slowly and painfully each day.