The world seemed so sure........they definetly wanted me out.
they just couldn't figure out how.....
the very next day..i gave up on my strength to hold up
everything that happened at her birthday party
Within me... i was hurt...
i needed answers.. as to why i was kept unaware of this reality
what reason she had for hiding all that , knowing that i didn't hide anything from her.
But i couldn't hurt her even....
it all , exaggerated me more and more , made me a complete impatient to the situation....
i called up....tried to talk but usually gave up thinking she would definetly get hurt
i just started to tell her
every situation that hurt-ed me.....
for her maybe it was not more than a crap of a person
my questions grew with time....and her disapproving nature ...made me a complete
impatient and rude...
she got irritated and the words came......."I think now its all over , i had cleared up
everything since beginning but you were not ready to be a part of it , no such thing as
love can happen between us , its been a year and a half and still its nothing.....don't expect
love from me in future..........
she totally got me one-sided , being with me .....i started fearing my wishes
i started fearing my destiny.
i don't know what could happen next ,
i don't know what loss i had now.....all my fears just drew
me to a world of fears now.......
she got away with it....
i needed someone to talk to......i thought of being with a friend with whom i shared everything
about her....knowing that all that would be safe with her....
our only common friend , my high-school friend.....i called her up to explain i am weak
, cant take life experiences anymore.....couldn't resist to live without her.....i just wanted to
die......
i expected some words of rescue....but
her reply was....she had been true to you since beginning that there could be nothing like love.
just forget her.....she has told me everything and i don't feel she is wrong anywhere....
after hearing her.....i felt ashamed of me...felt like i should burn myself with my love
and feelings......they were a waste as they called......they were never valued......
i called her up....to confirm if she really felt it was all my fault........
to which she said no i don't blame you only for all this.......but it can never happen
just don't keep any hopes regarding this anymore........
it just drived me more n more into me........
whenever i used to messaged her I love u......i used to receive a reply "shut up"
she used to say......someday your messages are gonna create problems for me.....she wanted no one
to see it.....especially her parents....
the way she took care of me......all that moments just enclosed me now.......
now the day comes,
i have nothing to prove ,
all the feelings ,
all the love ,
all the beliefs
she told me......i had no witness to prove it........
feelings , love , promises , beliefs .....all have nothing to prove to justify them..
if the persons start denying them.......
its just the person lives for the moment it believes in.....even if the other person deny
you can walk away any day....forgetting what all happened ,
its just the person who lives those moments more than life....never could comeback from that
again.....
they mean more than life to him....and he doesn't wanna give up so easily.....
even if everything dies.....even then his hope of his love to return to him , one day
never dies........
i just have the moments and not the person involved in them........
i fear the day she would totally deny my existence in her life.........
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